Falling

Copy-2-of-CIMG0019-212x300I have fallen four times, fallen off the ladder twice, and bounced down the stairs twice in less than a year.  OK, so I am 73 years old, left-handed, have ADD, and balance problems.  This still should not be happening.  I still think of myself as younger than 73, even though the DOF in the name of this site stands for Doddering Old Fart.

After our snowstorm I was out shoveling (I can still do that), came into the house in my wet boots, headed downstairs, and slipped on a stair.  I bounced down about four steps thinking this should not be happening.  I bruised my thigh and reinjured the ribs I broke last summer falling down the stairs.

The first night was rough, I couldn’t find a position that didn’t hurt.  Now I am sleeping OK and am almost fully mobile, just sore.  This has to stop.  After the four falls I got a referral to physical therapy.  That PT has made a big difference.  It seems that as we age, we rely more on vision for balance than the proprioceptors in our feet and the inner ear for balance.  That is not enough.

Inner Ear

Inner Ear

I had a top notch PT.  I did a lot of exercises to improve my balance that actually worked.  There is a remaining problem.  I have a significant hearing loss and wear hearing aids.  I also have constant tinnitus.  It seems that the Army likes to make loud noises.  Often when noises damage the auditory nerve the vestibular nerve sending information from the semi-circular canals is also damaged.  My balance is weak in the dark, especially when turning.  I have an appointment with the ENT clinic at the VA to see if anything can be done.

This balance thing goes way back, probably because of the inner ear problem.  I have always fallen more than most people, but I always attributed it to general clumsiness and ADD.  I am somewhat skilled at falling because I do it so often, but the last year has not gone well.

I managed to avoid injury with the falls and the two events with the stepladder, but no luck with the stairs.  The first time I was going down in the dark and missed the bottom step.  I did my tuck and roll, but the stool was in the way.  I broke two ribs in my back.  OW OW OW.  Don’t break ribs.  It took about two months to heal.  We now have two motion activated lights in the stairwell.

The fall the other day was entirely my fault.  My boots were wet and my mind was elsewhere.  I slipped on the front of the stair tread and went down.  Bouncing down stairs is no fun.  My thigh Is doing well, but those same ribs hurt.  So what is going on?

Some of it is the aging process, and my refusal to acknowledge I am not the young whippersnapper I used to be.  I am now restricted to the bottom two steps on the ladder.  Some of it is obviously balance related.  Some of it is my distractibility and inattention.

I think the real meaning goes deeper.  Carol and I are in to Jungian Psychology, which pays a lot of attention to dream images and symbols to examine the unconscious part of the psyche.  When a series of waking events occurs, our question is, ” If this was a dream, what would it mean?”.  The Universe is trying to tell me something, and I am not paying attention.

When I don’t pay attention, things tend to escalate until I get the message.  This happens to a lot of people.  It sometimes takes a life-changing event before we pay attention.  I am paying attention, but I am not sure of all the meaning.  Part of it is Slow Down, Dude!  Part of it is to stop trying to do it all, despite the risk.  I am not very good at doing it all, and we can afford to have someone else do it.

There is a spiritual meaning here, and I am not clear what it is.  I think some of it is to write more than three hours per week and spend less time looking at junk on the iPad.  I also need to do more spiritual work.  I have a block in this area, with times that are spiritual and other times, like now, when all I can do is pray and try to meditate.  I get too distracted in meditation.  I keep forgetting to go to my Sunday evening meeting.  I do not get out in nature enough.  Is there more?  I’ll tell you when I know.

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