Tag Archives: The Secret

The Meaning of Life

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meaningoflife

Sitting in the coffee shop I see that the meaning of life for the two year old running around the room is love, connection, and the joy of moving.  That little boy, expressing sheer joy, has managed to communicate that feeling to everyone in the room.  That is as it should be, and is probably as far as we really need to go.

As we get older, it gets more complicated.  Pain, loss, death, and suffering come into our lives.  Finding Meaning in the midst of suffering is difficult for many of us.  Many people find their meaning in following.  They follow gods, rulers, gurus, preachers, the girl next door, teachers, or their family and tribe.

Some of us, however, refuse to follow.  One of my mottoes is “Don’t trust anyone who says he knows the will of God.”  I prefer to think for myself.  I search for answers and have for as long as I can remember.    I am 72 years old and I am still searching.  I have had a number of peak experiences.  These experiences have come in several contexts, Christian, Buddhist, chemical, and in nature.

Every experience was life changing, giving me a new way of seeing and being.  Sometimes they are brief, fleeting.  Other times I have dwelled in the grasp of divine love for as long as a year.  I have prayed without ceasing, done mindfulness meditation, spoken in tongues, laughed in ecstasy, cried with joy, and had years of no spiritual connection at all.

I know that a spiritual connection does not have to come in any specific religious context.  I do not, however, know how to maintain that connection all the time.  It is just not “After enlightenment, the laundry.”  It is not being able to sustain a practice for a sustained period.

Do I lack discipline?  No.  I have maintained a discipline for an extended time and had an event that broke the connection.  Am I a spiritual dilettante?  It seems so.  Most of the time,however, I am a spiritual nobody.

It’s a mystery.  I know without any doubt that there is more to life and being than this round rock we ride through space.  I have seen the eternal web of universal connection and oneness.  I have been wrapped, enveloped in God’s love.  I have received spiritual gifts.  I have shared those gifts.

Now it seems that my task is to live in the world as a householder and writer.  I do a ten minute meditation every morning and that’s it.  Most of the time the meditation is clutter.  Sometimes I get an experience of complete peace.  That, for now, is enough.

I am not called to lead, to take action in the world.  I learn, reflect, write a little, try my best to be a good husband and friend.  I have family, which is saying a lot, as I come from a family with weak ties.  Today the ties are strong and growing.  Love.

Another task before me is to smooth out the bumps in my brain.  I get angry, irritable.  I obsess about meaningless things.  I get depressed.  I forget and procrastinate.  I eat too much and don’t exercise.  Lots to do.  It is time to be in the world and find meaning here, not out there.

Posted in Current Activities, Memoirs, My Story, Stories

The Secret

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Four Mile House

Four Mile House

I have a lot of fun with the elementary school children at Four Mile Historic Park.  In my introduction, I talk about the horses, warning them about being kicked or bitten.  I then show them my missing finger.  That gets the message across, even after I tell them it was not a horse.  When there are several Latino kids in the group, they learn that my name in Spanish is Nueve.

One of my favorite things is to get some of the girls aside and ask them if they know the secret.  They don’t know, of course.  I tell them, “Girls are smarter than boys.”  There are several reactions.  With several girls, it is “Yes!” with some high fives.  With first or second graders, they are a bit surprised, but agree.  With older girls, they usually nod sagely.  They all like hearing it from an old man.

Parents and teachers also like hearing it.  I tell them about the Bill Clinton Society.  That is the organization of men whose wives are smarter than they are.  Women and men all agree that all men are members, with a big laugh.

I also make a point of establishing myself as a big storyteller.  They learn that some of my stories are true, some not so true.  I do say when I am not lying, as how I really lost my finger.

Often, I tell them about my grandmother Pearl driving a wagon from Texas to Colorado in 1887 when she was 12.  The link to that story is here.

Another thing we show the children is the fuel for campfires the pioneers used out on the prairie.  We ask them what fuel they would have used where there was little firewood.  The answers are usually grass, rocks, or wood.  “No wood, grass burns too fast, rocks don’t burn.  They used Buffalo Chips.”

Buffalo Chips

Buffalo Chips

We hold one up.  They don’t quite understand until we say “Dried buffalo poop.”  “Eww!”  is the universal response.  They then learn that it was the task of the children to gather the stuff.  They begin to understand that life on the trail was not very easy.

The children visiting Four Mile have fun, I have fun, and we all learn something.  The main thing I have learned is that the kids are bright, fun-loving, and they enjoy learning.  Most of the teachers encourage the learning and fun.  Some of the teachers are only interested in control.  We all had too many of them.  I do my best to counter that attitude.  This is my fourth year at Four Mile.  In that time, only three children have been a big problem out of the thousands I have met.  I hope to meet and have fun with many more.

Posted in Four Mile Park, Stories