The Hurt, The Itch, and The Joke
It’s raining today, which means it is time for miscellany. I always have a few short ideas rattling around in my head, and these days writing about them is the best way to get them out of there. First, the itch.
For years now, if it doesn’t hurt, it itches. I have arthritis in several places and it bothers me from time to time. Currently it is my left knee and my left wrist. The knee hurts and is weak for the first few steps when I get out of the chair. I get shots in the knee from time to time, usually good for six months or so. I am left handed and the wrist is intermittently a real pain, usually when gardening. I notice that my left hand is weaker than the other one (I won’t say right.) as I am the official opener and fixer around the house, this is not good.
The itch is the biggie. I itch every morning until the Allegra kicks in, and every evening until the Benadryl kicks in. I don’t know what the allergen is, and it is year around. The worst spots are on my back over my kidneys. Right now, the inside of my forearm and calf are itching. The itch doesn’t drive me nuts, I was already there.
I tried the allergy specialist with no luck. The only things that help are the antihistamines. There is a possibility the allergen is one of the medications I take. Next time I see my doctor I will talk to her about doing an allergy elimination protocol. I won’t do it myself, I take that stuff for a reason. I don’t want to have a stroke while tracking the source of the itch.
I didn’t itch when I was younger. I even felt a bit smug when others complained about their allergies. Maybe the whole thing is karma.
Now, the joke, my favorite of all time. I see a person wearing a college t-shirt or sweatshirt and ask them if they know why graduates of the school’s big rival keep a copy of their diploma on the dash of their car. They do it so they can park in the handicapped spot. Here in Denver it is usually Colorado-Nebraska or Denver University-Colorado College. Nebraska, of course, is the most appropriate. That N on their football player’s helmets stands for nowledge. Most Coloradoans know that joke, but it is fun to see the reaction when in Nebraska.
I have used it for schools all over the country. Michigan-Ohio State, Purdue-Indiana, Notre Dame-Penn State, Duke-North Carolina, Auburn-Alabama, USC-UCLA, and especially Texas-Texas A&M, as Aggies are right in there with Nebraska. I have told this to dozens of people, and only one didn’t like the joke.