Lovingkindness
We seem to be living in a world seething with hate. It is always there, but currently it is more visible. Our president wants adulation and to punish those who oppose him. Everyone has a part of themselves who wants to do harm, usually because harm was done to them. There is another way.
We are born with a need to be loved, to be fed, cuddled, protected, and allowed to grow. A baby receiving those things responds with smiles, giggles, and joy. The caregiver experiences joy as well. The response to abuse is to withdraw and develop defenses for survival. The capacity for love and joy can be lost. We are all wounded to some degree and the result is conflict.
The response to love and nurturing is a desire to love and nurture in response. We are born that way. The word for it is lovingkindness. All the anger and resentment is learned, a response to abuse.
My task is to increase lovingkindness and equanimity and allow the negativity to wither. My techniques are Insight Meditation and Metta. Metta is the practice of holding all living beings in prayer or lovingkindness. “May all sentient beings be happy, may they be safe, may they be free.” “May Mr. Trump be safe, may he be happy, may he be free and practice lovingkindness in his life.” “May the driver who just gave me the finger be happy, safe, and free.” I actually do this. Not always, I still harbor old wounds, but my Metta practice is growing.
I feel better, am less angry, and don’t honk or give the other driver the finger nearly as much. Buddha came up with this 2500 years ago, even though he didn’t drive, and those who practice lovingkindness are a powerful force for good which often goes unrecognized. All the faith traditions encourage this in some way. Yes, there are happy and loving people out there.
So, what about all those with anger and hate? It’s our task to show them lovingkindness, as simple as smiling and allowing them to make that left turn. We also deal directly with the negativity by listening and showing respect, gently offering a more caring viewpoint. We help those in need, always with dignity and respect. When angry, we breathe in, breathe out, pause, rinse and repeat.
I guess I am something of a Buddhist, but Jesus is still in my life, and always will. A bit about Buddhism. It has all the trappings of an Eastern faith tradition. Saffron robes, chants, meditation, stupas and gilded Buddhas, with one big difference. Buddhism is nontheistic. No worshipping some Big Guy. The sole purpose is to end suffering. Most often greed, or desire, is the root of suffering. We can be in terrible pain but suffering is optional.
We decide we need something. We make that up. All we need is food, clothing, and shelter. All the rest comes from craving, wanting to fill a hole that can’t be filled that way. We might feel a bit better, but the desire always returned. What to do? Let go. Meditate. Practice lovingkindness. Do lots of Metta. Maybe I will get better at all that.